The adventures of Jack and Glen
by SasukeUchihaPHTanteiTrunkslove
Summary: Something is desperately wrong with Glen Baskerville today. He's actually smiling and laughing. It turns out that Glen and Jack have switched bodies with each other! How will they cope with this? Will Oswald kill Jack for ruining his life?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:I just got a hilarious plunny in my mind. What happens when Jack Vessalius swaps bodies with Glen Baskerville himself? Chaos ensues as Glen suddenly becomes more cheery than usual and flirts with ladies while Jack suddenly becomes more morose and dreary. Read on to find out! AU, Lacie is still alive, so Alice and Alyss are not born yet. **

**Chapter 1 The swap**

* * *

Something was desperately wrong today, Lottie Baskerville thought as she trudged down the hallway of the Baskerville mansion. That something did not have to do with a certain Vessalius and how many times he had annoyed the hell out of her by attempting to flirt with her again and again.

She stared worriedly at his bedroom door before she sighed and turned to a certain red-eyed girl who was standing there in annoyance. "Well, why do you think Glen-sama's taking so long to wake up?"

The girl twitched briefly before she tossed a piece of her midnight-black hair back with her fingers. "Who knows? Perhaps Nii-san has decided to slack off from his important job!"

Lottie rolled her eyes. Why the girl was so informal with her master, she had no idea.

"By the way, Lottie, I heard from Nii-san yesterday that Jack came over here and tried to flirt with you again, didn't he?" A malicious smirk crossed her face.

The pinkette fumed. "Shut up! I don't even like him like that!"

"You know how popular he is!" Lacie said. "Well, I'll go in and wake up Nii-san!"

She threw the door open and stormed in. "Nii-san, time to wake up! Nii-san!"

No response came from her older brother, who lay on the bed. A vein pulsed on Lacie's forehead. How dare he ignore her! "I know you're awake, dammit! Wake up already!"

Time to resort to plan B. She threw something at him and struck him on the head. Her brother instantly shot up and rubbed his head, and then his eyes alighted on her.

* * *

"Lacie!" He cried and embraced the startled girl in a hug, something that was quite unusual for the 'Emo King' to do. Lily had given him the nickname, which he tolerated, much to his annoyance.

"Nii-san, are you feeling all right?" Lacie asked before waving her hand in front of her older brother's face.

Oswald smiled at her. "Why are you calling me nii-san, Lacie? I'm not your brother!" He said cheerily. "I'm Jack Vessalius!"

Lacie stared at him skeptically for a few moments. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh, crud, this can't be good."

"What?" 'Oswald' asked.

"Come in the bathroom, _Jack." _Lacie urged before pulling her older brother inside and slamming the door shut behind them.

"What's in here, Lacie?" Oswald asked, looking around curiously and..._whistling_.

"If you really _are _Jack, why do you look like my brother?" Lacie then held up a mirror for him to look into.

'Oswald' backed away in shock and then screamed, while Lacie laughed at her 'brother's' stupidity.

"How the heck did this happen, Lacie?" Jack cried. "I won't get any of the ladies near me now!"

"Trust me, you will. They won't be running from you now. Nii-san is quite popular." Lacie pointed out.

"Besides that, how can we...uh, you know, make out and stuff? I'm in your brother's body, so that would be...incest, wouldn't it?"

Lacie sighed. "Idiot. The answer is no. Just try not to act like someone who was dropped on his head, Jack, and you'll be just fine."

Jack smiled. "Okay!"

It really creeped Lacie out to see her brother smile. Even if he was Jack, it still creeped her out badly. That said a lot.

Lottie bowed in front of her master as he came out of his room with Lacie right behind him.

"Glen-sama, good morning!" She cried. To her surprise, he smiled and greeted her in return. Her mouth dropped open upon hearing him greet her.

"How are you today, Lottie? You're just as gorgeous as ever. How would you like to go ou-_oww, _Lacie, stop that." He scolded, casting a reproachful stare at the black-haired girl who was smirking.

"Nii-san, you're just amnesiac today. Nii-san may have a case of temporary amnesia!" She said happily.

Lottie blinked in bewilderment. "Why is Glen-sama so happy?"

He smiled again. "Because it's a nice day ou-ouch, _quit pinching me_, Lacie!" He hissed at a grinning Lacie, who really enjoyed tormenting her boyfriend.

A malicious grin popped up on her face as she thought of how much suffering her brother must be going through right now.

Gilbert and Vincent wandered up to their master, smiling politely and they were twice as shocked when he smiled at them.

"Master, are you feeling all right today?" Vincent asked.

"Just fine!" He chirped.

Gil and Vincent exchanged confused glances as their master wandered away from them. What made him...so...HAPPY?

* * *

Oswald slowly awoke to bright sunlight. When he got up to go into the bathroom, he received the shock of his life. For some reason, the face of Jack Vessalius stared back at him.

"What the hell has that idiot done now?" He growled. When he got his hands on Jack, he was going to throttle him for doing this to him. All he had to do was...he would have to sneak into his own estate.

How had it come to this, anyway?

* * *

Lacie visited the Core of the Abyss like usual, chatting and laughing with her friend as she held her black rabbit doll, who blinked in confusion upon seeing Glen Baskerville by her side.

The rabbit's eyes widened unnaturally. '_L-Lacie-san, why is he here?' _

Lacie smiled at her rabbit, who was staring at her 'brother' with confused red eyes. "Oh, relax, Oz, everything's fine!"

Jack blinked. He could've sworn he had just seen the stuffed rabbit doll move in Lacie's arms. He rubbed his eyes. He smirked at all of the things he could do to Oswald in his mind. Time for him to ruin Oswald's life.

The rabbit blinked again. Oz sighed. '_Is he really your brother?'_

"No, he traded places with my friend, Jack, sort of like how you travel back and forth between your body."

Oz blinked. How was that possible? Was his owner mad?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:2 favorites and yet no reviews for TAOJAG. Oh, but it's so funny. Jack and Glen remind me of Naruto and Sasuke-you know, dark and gloomy and cheery and playful? Well, probably a subversion, since we all know Jack is evil now.

* * *

Chapter 2: An angry Glen is no fun

Oswald frowned as he struggled to sneak into the Baskerville estate. The utter shame of having to sneak into his _own _house had already passed, but he could already tell that some people were beginning to notice the sneaky blond's tactics. The servants had already started to whisper about the young Vessalius perhaps having an affair with their master.

He had to scoff at that. He and Jack were nothing more than friends. Seriously, why did people misinterpret such things so much? Couldn't two men be friends without people assuming that they had to be gay? He groaned as he ran a hand through his now blond bangs and tried to enter the window to his room, only to discover that it was locked.

"Damn!" He hissed, struggling to open the window, only to blink as he realized a certain pinkette was glaring at him from the other side of the window.

"JACK! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" She shrieked. It was then that he realized that he had tried to enter the wrong room entirely. Lottie was only half-dressed, dressed in only a bra and a skirt.

Oswald tried hard to keep from having a nosebleed. He tried his best to sound happy and talkative-that in itself was hard enough for him to do. "Uh...hello, Lottie?" He said, trying and failing to sound cheery.

Apparently, Lottie fell for his pathetic acting. She grabbed her knife and whipped it right at his throat. "Get out of my window, you pervert! I won't let you bother Glen-sama, even though he did wake up late today and-"

"Where is he at this moment? I just need to speak to him." Oswald said, noticing how weird it sounded to be talking of himself as though he didn't exist. "Can I come in?"

Lottie immediately stomped on his hand, causing him to cry out in pain and nearly fall off the window ledge. She smirked and grabbed his ponytail.

_This is why I have short hair. I don't want to put up with people like Lacie tugging at my hair. Jack must be having a ball..._

"So, Jack, are you going to leave now?" She grinned as she tugged at it, causing him to cry out.

"Let go, _please_." He whined. If only he were in his normal body now, then she wouldn't have treated him like this. Alas, the tortures for poor Oswald were only beginning, and if he had any knowledge of the terrible things Jack was going to do to his body, he'd probably have strangled the blond and tossed him in the river.

"Why should I, Jack? So you can come in here and do dirty things to me?" Lottie hissed dangerously.

"No, just please...let me go!" He whined again. Lottie sighed...and then dropped his ponytail, causing poor Oswald to lose his balance and fall several feet to the ground. Oswald groaned as he sat on the ground, rubbing himself off. He could hear several of the other Glens in his head, laughing at him. How he hated his schizophrenia.

**This is quite an AMUSING turn of events, Oswald. To think you would switch places with the Vessalius...**

"Oh, shut up," He hissed at one of the Glens.

As he lay there, someone approached him. A woman with red hair came towards him. Oswald recognized this person. Wasn't this woman Miranda Barma? Oswald didn't really know much about the woman other than the fact that she was friends with Jack...which meant...oh, snap.

"Jack, did you get thrown out of the tower again? Trying to see your girlfriend, huh?"

Oswald tried hard not to vomit at that image. He was Lacie's brother-not that Miranda knew that, but it was probably a good thing that she didn't know.

"You know, he is so hot! Oswald...that coal-black hair of his...those violet eyes...I want his head, so that way I can stare at his face every day of my life!"

**A/N:When I first read Jack's description of Oswald, I screamed: "LELOUCH!" at my computer before I calmed down. Inner anime fangirl, people. It's a crazy mind. **

Now Oswald was frightened. Was this really what she thought of him? He was never going to invite her to another part again, lest she decapitate him in the middle of the night.

"...Jack, are you even listening to me?"

Crap. He had to talk, _had to talk, had to say something. _He bit his lip. "I'm fine."

"You seem out of it." She said.

_You don't know the half of it. _

* * *

Jack was growing very bored. He was getting really sick of not smiling and frowning at every opportunity. "Can I please flirt with one girl?" He begged.

"No," Lacie hissed. "You know what I think about that."

Jack flinched. He froze upon seeing himself headed his way, looking very irritated.

"Oh, look, Niisan's here. He's not happy. Overprotective again, huh?" Lacie chuckled.

"Jack-er, Glen, I need to talk to you!" Glen said. Jack reluctantly followed.

Once they were alone...

"What the heck did you do, Jack? This has to be your fault!"

"My fault? I don't know...I just woke up in your body. It sucks..." Jack whined.

"Don't act all stupid, Jack. You're not the one who was tossed out of his own house by an angry Lottie."

"You didn't have to listen to Lacie talk to her stuffed rabbit for hours and act like it was alive." Jack shot back.

Jack turned to see Lacie's rabbit sitting on the floor, clearly watching them with interest evident in its red eyes. Wait...how did that toy get in here? "Glen, I think the rabbit is watching us..."

"Jack, that's just a stuffed rabbit." Oswald said.

"_I am not just a stuffed rabbit." _A high voice said.

Jack's eyes widened upon hearing the black rabbit doll speak. His mouth dropped open. "I'm losing my mind. First I wake up looking like Glenny, and now a rabbit doll talks to me? Please, let me wake up!"

"_My name is OZ!" _The rabbit said in irritation, looking frustrated.

"Oz...? Oh, I see where Lacie got that from..." Jack said before snickering and pointing over at himself, who folded his arms and backed away.

"She already knows, doesn't she?" Oswald said matter-of-factly.

"About our bodies-"

"Yes, she does. She's no fool." Oswald said.

"_I switch between bodies, too!" _Oz interjected.

"Did we ask you to speak, Oz?" Jack asked the rabbit, who cowered.

"Don't be mean to him, Jack. More than likely, he's been given life by the Abyss." Oswald said before trying to touch Oz, but the rabbit flinched again and moved away from them.

"How did he get in here in the first place?" Jack asked.

The door opened to show Lacie and Miranda standing there, looking thrilled.

"OSWALD, I'VE WANTED TO MEET YOU FOR SO LONG!" Miranda cried as she tackled Jack to the ground in a hug. Her eyes fell on Oz, who remained still. "What a weird-looking doll."

"He's not weird," Lacie protested, before picking up Oz, who instantly relaxed in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**a/N:Am still here.**

**Chapter 3 Complications**

* * *

Jack sighed as he was being manhandled by Miranda, his best friend. Unfortunately, she only saw him as Glen now, considering Glen was in his body looking bored. Jack frowned at Glen, flashing him a look that read, "Be more happy."

Glen just face-palmed.

"Jack, is something wrong?" Miranda asked, looking at the blond man who was currently pouting in a not-so-subtle way.

"Jack" froze. "I don't think so."

Miranda blinked. "You don't know what's wrong with you?"

"I have...amnesia." "Jack" stated dully.

Miranda looked at the emotionless Jack and then at the unhappy Glen in her arms. "What is going on here?"

Jack and Glen froze.

'You idiot, smile, laugh, do anything!' Jack hissed in his mind.

Glen...smiled, or tried to. Thousands of muscles lost their lives in this cataclysmic event. They shall always be remembered with a frown for their efforts.

Miranda smirked. "That's better, Jack. You always look better when you smile. It was quite funny how Lottie threw you out of the tower. The look on your face..." She started to chuckle loudly, scaring the crap out of both Glen and Jack.

Jack just stared at Glen, wondering how the heck he could be so stupid.

The rabbit in the corner blinked and then it spoke, again, at the worst moment imaginable: "HOW STUPID IS SHE? THE BLACK-HAIRED MAN IS NOT GLEN, IT'S JACK!"

* * *

Miranda blinked at the stuffed rabbit and then did the most natural reaction to a talking stuffed animal: she screamed and then passed out. Not many things could scare the crap out of her, considering she murdered people on a daily basis, but talking stuffed animals scared the crap out of her, too.

"...Was I supposed to talk then?" The black rabbit said, clearly annoyed at this turn of events.

Jack sighed as he brought himself up to his feet. "Glen, I wish that thing couldn't talk."

Oz the black rabbit fumed. "Pay attention to me, dammit!" Tears of frustration ran down his face.

* * *

Lacie came in then with a broad grin on her face. She scooped up Oz in a hug and dodged Jack's attempt to engulf her in one and instead walked over to her brother. "Hello, Nii-sama."

The man who looked like Jack scowled. "So you knew?"

"Of course. After all, my real Nii-sama doesn't hug me!" Lacie said in annoyance. Oz nodded his head furiously.

"That's so true!" Oz chirped.

"Shut up, Oz," Jack hissed under his breath. Oz flinched.

"You're being mean again," Oz whined to Lacie, who shot Jack a death glare.

"So, what are we going to do about Miranda?" Jack asked, looking away from Lacie.

"Who knows?" Glen said. "I'm sure Revis has something to do with this."

"Speaking of which...here he is right now!" Lacie cried.

* * *

Sure enough, Revis appeared, staring at them both.

"Well, if it isn't Jack and Glen...or, shall I say you two are in each others' bodies?" Revis said aloud, which frightened both of them.

"H-How did you know?" Jack stammered.

"I know things, Jack. You don't like that body, do you?"

Jack shook his head. "I can't flirt with any women!"

"Because you have ME." Lacie said in annoyance.

"More or less," Jack said in frustration. "But still, Lacie, you _have _to understand...I just can't go without flirting with a lady!"

"You can't this time!" Lacie exclaimed.

"My, my, Lacie, aren't we exuberant as always...even with the surprise that's coming." He whispered. Lacie blushed.

"You're not going to tell anyone," She hissed, pointing at her belly, which was round.

"Don't worry...your trip to the Abyss will be soon."

"Don't you DARE think about dropping my Lacie into the Abyss!" Jack cried.

Lacie gave him a sad smile. "It has to be done, Jack. But I have a surprise for you all...I'm pregnant!"

* * *

Jack's mouth dropped open, as did Oswald's. A look of brotherly rage crossed his face as he stormed up to Revis.

"Master, what did you do?"

"Oh, relax...you'll see when she dies."

Lacie smirked. "I know, Jack...you really don't want me to die, do you?"

Jack shook his head.

"Don't worry...once you two get your bodies back, I'll die. But before that, I'll help you out. By the way, I think I'm having a daughter." She whispered.

"What should we name her?" Jack said. Lacie facepalmed.

"I'm not going to be around when they're born, remember? I'll be dead!" Lacie hissed.

"Hmm...I'll think of one." Revis said in boredom. "Hope you two adjust well to your "situation" because you're going to be in it for QUITE a while!" He waved at them casually before striding off.

"Damn him! How _dare_ he make you pregnant!" Glen hissed.

"Nii-san, don't worry. My little girl will be good. Now what to name her...how about...Lily?"

Glen shook his head. "Too stupid."

"...Lacie?"

Lacie bopped Jack on the head for that. "No, it has to be different...how about...Alice?"

"Alice...I like it," Glen said.

"You're pregnant, Lacie-san? What does that mean?" Oz said.

"Shut up, Oz," Jack hissed. "The adults are talking right now."

"Oh, and Jack," Lacie began, "If you ever do something stupid like, oh, I don't know...try to destroy the world to bring me back...or hurt my daughters...I will never forgive you."

Jack shivered. "Oh, um, okay."

Lacie said, "Wanna feel the girl?" She said.

Glen felt her stomach. "Yeah...she's quite stubborn. She kicked me twice."

"I guess she'll take after me, then." Lacie said with a laugh. "Jack, come here."

Jack reached out and felt her stomach. Nothing happened.

"Ha ha ha...I guess she doesn't like you."

Suddenly, another kick came up and hit Jack.

"Two? You have two girls, Lacie?" Jack said in disbelief.

Lacie gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"I felt two pairs of feet kick me. Not one, but two! I think you're carrying twins." Jack summed up.

"Won't that be interesting?" Lacie said. "What can we call the other one? How about...Alyss and Alice?"

"You have children?" Oz asked.

"Be nice to them, Oz. They'll be your friend, too." Lacie said before she walked out, smirking at them both.

"Well, this makes things a hell of a lot more complicated, wouldn't you say, Glen?" Jack said.

Glen looked annoyed. "Stupid master...I wonder what he was doing to Lacie all this time."

* * *

Lacie rubbed her stomach. She could feel her girls kicking. "Yes, girls...you'll be born soon enough. In a few months, you will both be born."

"Well, Oz, it's time to go visit our friend, isn't it?"

The rabbit nodded as both of them returned to her tower.

"Glen-sama!" Lottie cried as she saw her master and Jack return, both looking utterly irritated.

Jack blinked at her. "Hello, Lottie." He said dully, trying his best to sound like boring old Oswald.

"Glen-sama, where have you been?" She asked.

"I've been waiting." Glen said, before Jack nudged him, "Um, for some beautiful...ladies to show up! Yeah, that's it!"

"Jack is acting weird today, isn't he, Glen-sama?" Lottie said before shooting a glare at "Jack".

Jack nodded. "Yes, he is. He's just...under the weather today."

'They're both acting odd. It's almost like...they're not themselves. Jack is looking bored and he's not really talking. Glen-sama seems more friendly today...almost...like...Jack? But that means...Glen-sama isn't MY Glen-sama!'

"..._Jack?" _She said skeptically, pointing at her master, who nodded sheepishly. "But that means that Glen-sama is..."

"Right here," Glen said in annoyance.


End file.
